Braindrain

A random post featuring some of the things swirling around in my head.

My children are so cute I want to freeze them.  A twelve year old boy, a ten year old girl and two six-year-olds on the cusp of turning seven is just the absolute perfect combination for me right now.  Personalities are fully formed but no one is taller than me yet.  (Although Jake is just a few weeks and maybe a Grandslam Breakfast away from looking down upon me.  Luckily I will outweigh him for decades!)

I enjoy my kids so much more than I did just a few years ago.  They can read!  They can tie!  They can wipe!  They are smart, funny and delightful.  Sam thanks me after every meal in Spanish.  Gracias, Mami for the delicious frozen waffle.  I am charmed on a daily basis.

I'm so glad when Daddy comes home.  Brad flies in tonight after a week in Philly and NJ.  He drove by our old house and took photos.  He visited some old friends.  He even had a quick trim by his beloved Donna at Personal Style.  (A fact which made me sooo envious, I actually dreamed I was back at the David Witchell salon in Newtown!  Oh, good hair days, why do you torment and elude me?)

I was tempted to fly back with him and tour our old stomping grounds together.  But, the truth is, I am just not ready.  I still miss it there a lot.  As much as I love the sunshine and having a pool right out the back door, I left a big piece of my heart on the Eastern seaboard.  I need a little more time to get over it.

I love having Brad in town.  I love having him work from home.  We've switched roles a little.  Now I'm the one who is gone all day and he's the one waiting for the cable guy.  He loads the laundry and turns off the CrockPot.  We go out to lunch and remember what life was like those first eight years we had together when it was just the two of us.  We've still got it.

We are family.  I got all my sisters with me!  Last month, Marta and Benji came to town for two glorious weeks.  It was simply the best.  I dragged her along on all our crazy adventures and she was, as always, a great sport.  How fun to watch my baby sister as a mother.  I learned from her everyday!

I was so sad to see Min go...but now, guess what?!  Two more sisters are driving down sans hubbies and bringing along their (yes, count 'em) SEVEN little girls for some fun-in-the-sun next week!  Eighteen extra ovaries, people.  Don't you wish you could be a fly on the wall!?  I cannot wait.

And some things you just can't blog about...  The biggest change going in my life right now is my church assignment.  Getting a new calling is kind of like being a new mom.  At first, everyone says nice things and hugs you and tells you what a great job you will do...and then THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH THE BABY.  And you just have to do it.

I'm still at the stage where I don't know what I don't know.  I'm trying to study up real quick.  I am loving the excuse to make lots of new friends, to do lots of one-on-one visiting.  It's a very old-fashioned, non-digital kind of job which I find energizing and enjoyable.  I'm doing a lot of listening and I'm learning a lot, but it's not stuff I want to post about.  Just trust me, after a short time rubbing shoulders with these women, I will be a better person.

The First of the Lasts

I'm giving myself exactly 26 minutes to blog tonight.

I do not have time to spend on the computer. But I want to a place for all these memories while they're still fresh. So please excuse spelling and grammatical errors.

Right now, life is full. I am just trying to soak up every last day of our Bucks County existence. The calendar is packed with celebrations of all kinds and "just-one-more-time" kinds of outings. It's a month of lasts.

Jake's last concert with The Amazing Mr. Capriotti

Today was our last piano lesson. Not terribly sad.

But, earlier, we had our last pediatrician's appointment and I almost cried. It was hard to say thank you and good bye to my home-away-from-home of more than a decade.

That office kept me well-stocked with Amoxicillin and Cefzil for years. They always squeezed me in when someone had strep. And, on one particularly heinous visit with all four screaming darlings in tow, the receptionist told me that even though my kids were sick and miserable, I looked good! She made my day and I will never forget her.

A last shot of me & Danelle... I love her even though she wears a size 00.

I've had some "lasts" with my sweet friend, Danelle this week. Over the years we have been side by side in so many places--Target, baby showers, spin classes, presidency meetings, book club, birthday dinners, temple trips, visiting teaching (Oh, those lucky ladies who were fortunate enough to have us and our parade of preschoolers come spread sisterly cheer into their home each month!).

Now D and I are side by side in parallel moves Out West. Moving within days of one another. It's been fun to have someone to compare real estate agents and moving companies together. We share the excitement of being closer to families and the wistfulness of leaving dear friends. Still, these venting sessions are numbered too. We'll be in the same time zone, but probably not in the same spin class. I am going to miss her.

Another last...I discovered I'm not really a yard sale person this weekend.

Right now, I feel caught between my two realities. Am picking cabinets and carpets for a new home while still filling and vacuuming the old ones. Just because your life is topsy-turvy and there are 150,000 things on your to-do list doesn't mean you get to quit your day job.

Our neighbor's amazing backyard " Welcome Summer" bash. This is probably the last summer party I'll attend wearing a rainjacket.

Also, hopefully, the last time I ever sing all 14 minutes of Bye Bye Miss American Pie, karaoke-style. I blush just remembering.

Some lasts I am looking forward to: last ball game, last day the alarm rings at 5:03 AM, last homework assignment, last rush to catch that wretched midday kindergarten bus--which is either so early we're breathless or so late the twins have lost their shoes and backpacks.

Also hoping this is the last time Em "trims" her own hair. She has a history with self-barbering, as many of you will remember. A few years ago she looked like a young Haley Joel Osment. Now her bangs look just like her dad's.

I went over my self-imposed time limit by 11 minutes. Oh well.

Beauty Secrets

I knew Mom was my beauty-partner-in-crime the day she took me to get my ears pierced.

After years of pleading tears and pitiful begging, I had managed to convince my parents that having a couple of little gold balls in my lobes would not be the first step on a path to teen pregnancy or delinquency. I promise-promise-promised that, even with holes in my ears, I would still choose good friends, be on the Honor Roll and clean my room.

(And, actually, I'd probably do these things a whole lot more effectively with the added confidence and self-assurance one can only achieve wearing a pair of green, plastic m&m studs.)

Whatever the argument, Mom gave in. Or maybe she just let me think she was giving in. It was my twelfth birthday and I got her all to myself as we drove to Castleton's Department Store for the Big Event.

(Moment of silence in memory of Castleton's, please. You SLC gals of a certain age know what I'm talking about. Was it not THE place to shop? Smaller than ZCMI, classier than Penney's and the nicest salesladies, ever. You could pay for your entire back-to-school wardrobe of Espirit camp shirts and chunky cotton vests with mountains of crumpled babysitting dollar bills and they wouldn't bat an eye!)


Anyway, Mom walked me to the jewelry department, held my hand while the deed was done and then (wonder of wonders!) announced that she'd like her ears pierced, too. The rest of the summer we were religious about using hydrogen peroxide and twisting our studs. We went earring shopping together, too. I felt beautiful and grown up and thrilled that I was sharing it all with Mom--the most glamorous woman I knew.

I think my mom was smart to share beauty secrets with her daughters. While other mothers were tsk-tsking about miniskirts and Maybelline, Mom would sit down at the kitchen table with a stack of fashion magazines and clothing catalogs. While her teenage boys were drawn to the Doritos in the pantry, her teenage daughters were drawn to J.Crew and marie claire. As we girls flipped casually through the pages , Mom was subtly sharing classic style secrets, encouraging modest clothing choices, and getting the lowdown on life at the high school. It's amazing the profoundly life-changing discussions that can occur while leafing through the Nordstrom summer shoe circular.


Instead of treating makeup like forbidden fruit, Mom took me to the Clinique counter. She spent hours looking for clothes to suit my hard-to-fit shape. We got our colors "done" together and took an aerobics class and made facials out of eggwhite. I had so much fun with Mom that I forgot I was supposed to be a teenage rebel. Of course, I made plenty of hair and fashion mistakes (it was the Eighties, after all) and, of course, my mom was still the Strictest Mother Alive when it came to being home on time, respecting adult authority and helping around the house.


But it's a whole lot more fun helping around the house when you're wearing navy blue mascara.



This Mother's Day my mom gave me a beauty book. It's fun and light and helpful and the perfect kind of reading when you're sitting at baseball practice or waiting for piano lessons to end. The book is full of tips and products and fun "insider" stories. Still, all my tried-and-true glamour tips come from Mom. Here are a few of the beauty secrets she taught me:

1. Red shoes go with everything.
2. Spend the most money on the clothes you wear most often.
3. An organized closet will save time, money and space. (Check out her closet...she practices what she preaches!)
4. If you're old enough to wear makeup, you're old enough to wash it off every night.
5. Don't try to look like anyone else. Emphasize your own beauty assets.
6. Beauty is not about size or age, it's about style and attitude.
7. The goal of looking your best is to feel confident, forget yourself and focus on others.

What are your beauty secrets?

Everything That I Am Thinking About Right This Very Minute

You know when your stomach hurts and you're just so nauseous you actually WANT to throw up? Because as soon as everything's out and not just churning inside, you'll just feel so much better?

That's how my brain feels right now.

So I'm just going to do one giant blog upchuck and share my brain nausea with the world. Hopefully having it out and not just churning inside, I'll feel much better...

1. Turning Five. Sam and Luke turn five tomorrow. And, clearly, the best way to celebrate the fifth anniversary of your emergency C-section is to invite 20 hyper four-year-olds to your house for a magic show and balloon animals. (Note to self: See if magician can possibly bring an anesthesiologist to party.)
2. But No Seriously. I am having mixed feelings about my babies turning five. How many long days and sleep-deprived nights did I think to myself, If I can only survive the first five years... And I did survive. And it was harder than I thought it would be, but better too. And now I don't have babies anymore. So who am I?
3. The Home Office. Remember how worried I was about Brad working at home? Well, I love it. Really. It is great that he can come home for dinner right when it's ready. And that I don't have to hurry home to meet the schoolbus anymore. He leaves me alone and vice versa. It is an ideal situation. 99% of the time. Unfortunately, today was the other 1%. Enough said. Love you, Babe.
4. Dressing for the Derby. I have finally decided upon a dress and even found a hat to match. Some cute spectator pumps too. Now I just need a few final accessories and a cute bag to tie it all together. Since it is work-related, Brad is unusually interested in the whole thing and actually encouraging my shopping habit. Frankly, I don't know how to handle his involvement. One question for all my fashion savvy friends--stockings: yes or no? Brad doesn't have an opinion...so I need yours.
5. And, of course, All Roads Lead to Hair. So the next question is what to do with it? You know, as soon as I put that hat on, my 'do is dead for the day. So should I try to be smooth? Or should I just carry the hat and attempt Big Hair? It is the South, after all. My stylist, Danielle, suggested that I spend the next few days experimenting. Hello? Does she think I'm in ninth grade? Danielle dear, I should have said, the only hair experiment this mother of four can handle is the one where she counts how many days she can go without shampooing before people begin to complain. (FYI: Two and one-half days. I have very fine hair and I'm a head-sweater, like my mother. Thanks, Mom!)
6. I Have Got To Go To Bed.

Thank you all for listening. I DO feel much better. I just need a couple saltines and some ginger ale.

State of the Family: Hair Report

True story: When I was 19 years old and engaged to be married, I went in to a new salon for a cut and style. For the entire duration of the appointment, my new stylist complained about my hair. The color, the texture, the length. (And you wonder why I have hair issues, people?!) It was humiliating. Clearly, the gal was in the wrong profession and, clearly, I left her a very tiny tip.

The final straw was the moment she asked about my fiance's hair. "I hope his is better than yours," she burbled. "Otherwise, I feel really sorry for your future kids."

Well, happily, I have driven past that quasi-salon on subsequent visits to Utah Valley and found it shut down. Surprise surprise! But, sometimes, I wish I could track down that stylist and introduce her to my four beautiful children and their delightful heads of hair.

Instead, today, I will share with all of you...

Jake has the best hair in the family, hands-down. Thick, blonde, cowlick-free. Of course, he shares none of my genetics, so I can brag without sounding vain. This week Jake got a flat-top and he is obsessed with it. He will do anything we ask if we promise to spike his hair afterward. Powerful parenting? Oh yes.

Em is equally blessed with good hair. But, in true female form, she already has a love-hate thing going with her golden locks. Loves to comb the front. Hates to comb the back. Em is in the in-between stage. Not long and not short. She sustains a few curling iron injuries every Sunday morning. I speak the words my mother spoke to me, "Beauty is pain." It's never to early for womanly wisdom.

Sam looks best with almost no hair. The Buzz cut works with his square jaw and broad shoulders.

On the other hand, the same cut makes his twin brother look slightly criminal. But hey! Luke likes it.

Brad's hair has improved with age. The grey at the temples works like natural highlights. It makes his face look even younger. But don't even think about using his hairbrush. He's territorial.

To achieve the glamorous 'do pictured above, follow these easy steps:

1. Shampoo at 9:30 pm and blow-dry using overpriced spray mousse. Smile into mirror. You look great!
2. Fall asleep immediately. Toss and turn. Drool, if possible.
3. Wake up at 5:00 am, finger-comb and assume that Seminary students aren't really looking at you anyway.
4. Survive morning mayhem.
5. Work out. Sweat profusely.
6. Since you're already out of the house, grocery shop-visit library-help at school-drop off preschoolers. (**Note: The funkier you look, the more people you will "run into.")
7. Avoid mirrors after 4:00 pm.
8. Rinse and repeat.
   
   

Behind Every Cloud is a Silver Lining and Behind Every Highlight is a Silver Foil

Wow. I feel loved.

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement, phone calls, emails, prayers and wishes. The silver lining of our current storm cloud has definitely been soaking in the warmth of your friendship.

I think we're gonna be ok.

Not to bore you with the excruciating business details, I will liken Brad's job situation to something we all understand and enjoy:

Hair.

Just imagine that Brad's company is a successful beauty salon. Brad is a colorist (a very masculine colorist, of course) who specializes in foil highlights. In fact, he is the only one in the entire salon who does foil highlights and he is really very good, with a huge book of clients.

Due to the economic downturn, this salon decides to streamline its operation and completely shuts down the color department, choosing to specialize only in haircuts. Boring, right!?

The good news is that Brad can take all his loyal highlight customers to any new salon he chooses. Next week he will be meeting with a few other salons who want him to bring his foils, brushes, & faithful clients and set up shop in their beauty parlor.

So, substitute "telecommunications firm" for beauty parlor, "market research" for foil highlights, and "vice president" for colorist and you have the general idea.

Although, wouldn't it be great if he actually could touch up my roots?!

Here's to looking for the silver lining...

Anticipating...

Do you know today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year? If your children were off school for the next two days, you would be VERY aware. Trust me.


Last year I wrote this post about the holiday and today I am celebrating once again.


Let's face it, I need all the New Years I can get. Time once again to re-evaluate, see how my life is going and what I need to work on. Here are a few things I am looking forward to in the coming new year:

• Bookclub this week. We're meeting at my house and I will be baking something delicious.
  
• Haircut and color next week. My hair has not looked this hideous since eighth grade. Really...I could just wear this hair with my morning face and I would win all Halloween contests this year.
  
• My upcoming "Gabtalk" interview post. The election edition. I say this every time...but I think this is one of the best inverviews ever.
  
• General Conference. After a week of depressing news, I cannot wait to see something uplifting on my TV for a change. Plus, Brad will make trail mix. I plan on being stuffed, physically and spiritually.
• Thursday. When school will start and my life will return to "normal."

Happy New Year!

Seven Questions...Your Crowning Glory

This is AnneMarie. One of my newest and cutest friends!

The first thing I noticed about AnneMarie was her darling short haircut. And when I discovered she was a stylist, I knew I had to chat with her about one of my obsessions...hair!

Who doesn't feel better when their hair looks great? Here is AnneMarie's advice on taking care of your tresses...

#1--First of all...I LOVE your cute cut! Do you cut your own hair? If not, is it hard to trust someone else to do it? Do you have any hair "issues"? How do you deal with them?
I WISH I could cut my own hair. In a pinch I can chip into the layers, but that is it. My hair is cut on a regular basis by my sister-in-law. She knows me (and my hair) well and does a fabulous job. Occasionally (when we’re in town) I get really lucky and my sister, Diane, cuts it. It runs in the family!!
I have a lot of thick, straight hair, which can be a blessing and a curse. I prefer to wear it on the short side because it takes too long to dry it if it’s long. When I was a little kid I used to get headaches from my pony tails!

#2--Are the expensive "salon brands" really better than drugstore hair products? Do you have a favorite line?
I think that salon products are a MUST if you do anything chemically to your hair like color or perm.

Also, a good conditioner is important if you use a flat iron.

Professional products really are better. They contain enough water so that they usually do not build up on your hair. Store bought conditioners contain a lot of wax so they really just make your hair feel conditioned when it really is just coated.

My advice is to buy 1-2 professional shampoos and 1-2 store bought and just switch off every other day. And remember, professional products are highly concentrated so you don’t need to use as much (so it should last a while).
Right now, I am using the KIWI line, but I am not that picky. I’ll try whatever is on sale!!

#3--Have you ever made a horrible mistake with someone's cut or color? How did you correct it?

My first color correction in a salon was a NIGHTMARE! It was a teenage girl who had dyed her hair jet black & wanted to go back to her natural light brown color. (Not an easy process for a recent beauty school grad!)

She was there for several hours one evening, and back again the next day. Eventually, after a few phone calls to my beauty school instructor, it worked out & she had a full head of light brown hair. WHEW!

Also, I snipped the top of my mom’s ear once. Luckily she was my nicest client!!

I’m sure there were other times, but, thankfully, you get really good at covering up mistakes…

Cute short haircut

#4--What advice would you give to someone who is unhappy with her current stylist? What's the best way to find someone new?

Move on! Take a look around at the mall, grocery store, or park for cute haircuts. If you see a cut/style that you really like, ask that girl who her stylist is. Be realistic about different hair types and that what works for one person may not work for another.

#5--What are the top five hair mistakes you see women make?
*Wearing the same hairstyle since High School. Come on, be brave…change it!

Good long hair

*Long hair (I’m talking middle of the back or longer). Very few women can pull this off. (But the women who can pull it off do look fabulous!) We’re not teenagers any more. The laziness sets in and so does the pony tail. At least cut it to shoulder-length.

Not one of AnneMarie's clients!

*Dark roots (2 inches or more). I know, it’s hard & expensive to keep it up…but you’ve made a commitment. If you want to prolong the time between colors, have a little of your natural color woven in to blend the line a little.

*Women who color their own hair. Usually a BIG mistake. Getting an all-over color in a salon really is not that expensive, and so worth it. Highlights are another story…NEVER attempt this one on your own. Believe me, many women do.

*Picking a style that just doesn’t work for your hair. If you have a good stylist, she should be honest and tell you if something isn’t going to work. (If they are not offering that advice….ASK, ASK, ASK!)

OR, picking a style that is too high maintenance for your lifestyle is also a problem. If a style/cut is too hard for you to maintain, you won’t do your hair. Make sure you have a style that works for you.

If you need a tutorial from your stylist…ASK! That is their job. You are, after all, their walking advertisement and they should be happy to help you out.

Great color and cut

#6--What's your opinion on hair extensions? Just for celebs? Can real women pull them off?

I know many women who have tried hair extensions. Some have loved them and some have not. I think they are great for a change. Keep in mind that they are expensive and time consuming when they are initially put in.

#7--Everybody knows a hair salon is better than a soap opera for gossip and drama. What is it like working in that type of environment? Is it really catty and competitive? Or just a great big slumber party? Any juicy stories you could share?

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve worked with a group of women in a salon (since kids I’ve worked…or not…from home). A salon is DEFINITELY a soap opera. It is a little competitive when you are starting out and trying to build a clientele, but once that is established it isn’t too bad.
Juicy stories??? I have heard way more than I ever wanted about marriage problems, sex lives, neighborhood gossip, etc. Extremely uncomfortable when you are the stylist to everyone involved in those stories. Makes the day fly by, though!!

It really is a fun environment. There was a time when I couldn’t believe that I was being paid to talk to people all day.

Thanks, AnneMarie!

AnneMarie's blog is as cute as she is...she also recommends this site and this one if you're looking for the perfect style!

Hairy Situations

All right, ladies...let's pretend we are all sitting in my bedroom in our pj's, discussing hair--what else?--I have some questions for you and I'd like your input.

1. What do you do if a new friend asks you for your hairdresser's phone number? Isn't this like the worst kind of blind-date-matchmaker situation? I mean, what if she goes and spends a fortune on your recommendation and HATES her hair? Hair is a big responsibility.
2. Do you think it is a good idea to have a friend cut your hair? A friend from church works at my salon. He is a really nice guy and I know he does a good job...but I have never dared sit with him. Basically, because I am in a committed-long-term relationship with Danielle, my stylist of 7 years. But also, because I believe in the SEPARATION OF CHURCH & HAIR. Is that wrong?
3. Is it a beauty college pre-requisite for all prospective stylists to have a dysfunctional family, a psycho-stalker ex-boyfriend, and/or a very, very rare degenerative disease? Seriously, every single hairdresser I've ever visited has had a life that could inspire at least two full seasons of All My Children. Or are they really normal, boring people just making it all up for big sympathy tips?
4. Are the expensive hair products really worth it? I can't decide if they are. They definitely smell better. But since my kids inevitably spill half the bottle trying to make bubble beards, maybe I would be better off buying Suave.

Ok...now that we've got that out of our systems, please pass the Chex Mix and let's paint each other's toenails!

Hello, Mars? It's Venus Calling...

One of my biggest shocks as a 20-year-old bride was that my wonderful new husband did not want to sit around for hours discussing my favorite subject. Hair.



I mean, really. My mom, 3 sisters, countless girlfriends and roommates all thought it fascinating. We could talk for hours about perms, cuts, colors, and products. Not to mention the endless quest for body, shine and hold. Which salon? Curling iron, flat iron, crimp iron? Highlights or low lights? Permanent or semi? How about a warm chocolate brown, streaked with chunky caramel pieces and a butterscotch glaze? So many delicious possibilities.

Whenever I ask "Hun, what should I DOOOOOO with this hair?", my better-half clicks the mute on ESPN and then says (usually without even glancing up!), "Babe, your hair always looks great, no matter how you do it!"

This is his PC way of telling me that he thinks my hair is an overwhelming, expensive project and that as long as it covers my head and doesn't frighten the neighbors, he wants to be left out of the whole situation.

OK...I am fine with that. Our marriage is strong. We don't have to share ALL the same interests.

And he is OK with the fact that I did not went to spend the better part of our evening poring over this last night...

Yep. Roofing shingles. He is getting a new roof for his birthday! Hooray!

And I will not let my feelings be hurt over the fact that he enjoyed the process of choosing between Shakerwood and Sierra Sunset much much more than he has ever enjoyed discussing "Gab's Hair: Bangs? Yes or No?"

But, he is from Mars and I am from Venus. And I secretly think the roof is just one big overwhelming, expensive project. And as long as it covers my head and doesn't frighten the neighbors, he can deliberate all he wants!