Hairy Situations

All right, ladies...let's pretend we are all sitting in my bedroom in our pj's, discussing hair--what else?--I have some questions for you and I'd like your input.

1. What do you do if a new friend asks you for your hairdresser's phone number? Isn't this like the worst kind of blind-date-matchmaker situation? I mean, what if she goes and spends a fortune on your recommendation and HATES her hair? Hair is a big responsibility.
2. Do you think it is a good idea to have a friend cut your hair? A friend from church works at my salon. He is a really nice guy and I know he does a good job...but I have never dared sit with him. Basically, because I am in a committed-long-term relationship with Danielle, my stylist of 7 years. But also, because I believe in the SEPARATION OF CHURCH & HAIR. Is that wrong?
3. Is it a beauty college pre-requisite for all prospective stylists to have a dysfunctional family, a psycho-stalker ex-boyfriend, and/or a very, very rare degenerative disease? Seriously, every single hairdresser I've ever visited has had a life that could inspire at least two full seasons of All My Children. Or are they really normal, boring people just making it all up for big sympathy tips?
4. Are the expensive hair products really worth it? I can't decide if they are. They definitely smell better. But since my kids inevitably spill half the bottle trying to make bubble beards, maybe I would be better off buying Suave.

Ok...now that we've got that out of our systems, please pass the Chex Mix and let's paint each other's toenails!

Worth Repeating...

While eating Raisin Bran..."Mom, this raisin is sweet and juicy. Just like you!"

Passing by the seafood department in the grocery store..."Mmmm! Smells like salmon! My favorite."

While watching "Hairspray"...

E: "Look! They didn't even let the black people dance by the white people."

J: "I know. Dr. King must not have been born yet."

Seven Questions...Keepin' Fit

Gabtalk is turning into my latest obsession! I am channeling Barbara Walters and making my "Most Fascinating People" blog list.

Truthfully, I would much rather hear from real-life-in-the-trenches folks than celebrities. I learn so much seeing how "people like me" are reaching their goals and enriching their lives.

Today's victim: Bridget. I love her. She is so cute and friendly and positive! Her love for her family is obvious and her posts are always uplifting. Besides, we are practically related with all our family connections.

You can tell a lot about someone from their blog. And I can tell that Bridget is fit and fabulous but not obsessed and anorexic. So I asked her seven questions about keeping healthy and happy.

Here are her thoughts...



1. What is your weekly exercise routine?
I have classes at the gym I go to that I just love. After I get my kids off to school I head to the gym. With my youngest now in preschool too I actually have some free mornings! I usually workout between 3-5 days a week. Ideally 5 but, you know, life happens sometimes.

2. How do you balance your fitness goals with all your other responsibilities?
I just make it a priority. I figure taking care of myself is just as important as taking care of my kids, husband, house, etc. Everyone makes the time for the things that are really important to them. This is a passion of mine and its not something I would ever cut out of my schedule to make room for something else. Other things would go first.

3. Do you diet? Or follow any eating "rules"?
I have never been on a strict diet. I am trying to just find more healthy foods that I like. I love the idea of just eating fresh foods- lots of fruits and vegetables and cutting out the junk. I tell myself I can always have it later and chance are later I don't care about eating it anyway. One thing I have gotten better at over the years is reading labels on foods. I did a youth fireside a few years ago and found from my research that many fast food meals have more calories than your body needs in an entire day!

4. What's your favorite healthy snack?
Whatever great produce Costco has. I am really into d'anjou pears right now. The summer its all about the berries. When I need a treat, I love the dark chocolate covered almonds. The dark chocolate is low in sugar and has lots of antioxidants and the almonds are great for you too. I tell myself it might as well be a health food. :)

5. How do you encourage the rest of your family to get fit?
I try to put the emphasis on having fun. I tell my kids I exercise because it is fun not because I am trying to be super skinny. I think leading by example is the only way to go. If your kids see you having fun at sports or fitness, they'll catch on to it too.

6. How do you motivate yourself to get moving on those "fat" days? Or do you even have them...?
Oh, sure I have "fat days." I take it as extra motivation to work out more. I feel so sluggish when I get out of my workout routine. Even if I don't see any numbers budge on the scale, I just feel better when I am consistently working out. I have more energy. Few things make me happier than seeing a muscle where I didn't know I had a muscle before. But the real motivation has to come from just finding something you enjoy- the gym isn't for everyone. Some people need to find a group sport to make it fun. I am doing my third triathlon in May. I never in a million years thought I could do a triathlon and here I am. I am an average Joe which makes it fun. I will never place in my age division but I enjoy the training and trying to do better than I did last time.

7. What are the top three workout songs on your iPod?
"Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne
"Pump it" Black Eyed Peas
"I Fought the Law" Green Day

Thanks, Bridget! I'm going to get some chocolate-covered almonds right now...

To get to know Bridget a little better, visit her blog. My all-time favorite post was this one.

Highly Recommended

True confession: I picked up this book at Barnes & Noble to give to a friend. But as I sat in the Children's Book Section, thumbing through while the twins played at the train table, I knew I would have to find her another gift. I was hooked.

Peace Like a River is probably being massacred by high school English teachers and Freshman Reading TA's everywhere, because it is full of symbolism and themes and motifs. Leif Enger writes like a poet. Every sentence is a song. And, if you're like me, and just reading for pleasure instead of your GPA, you notice and enjoy the depth but don't have to pay much attention. The story of two motherless children, their miraculous father and their search for an outlaw older brother is captivating enough.

And now, I'm going to tie a ribbon around it and deliver it to my friend. A few days late for her birthday, but still a really great gift.

Top Ten Reasons Being Short Could Be Considered a Disability

1. You don't glide or float. You waddle. (See photo)
2. One-third of your kitchen cabinet space is completely useless.
3. Your choices: shop in the petite section, pay big $$$ for alterations, or learn to sew.
4. No one ever takes you seriously.
5. Your "ideal" weight = anorexic 8th grader.
6. Your neck gets very sore kissing tall boys.
7. Your younger siblings look down on you.
8. It's hard to sit like a lady when your feet don't touch the floor.
9. You have to rely on strangers to reach the Cracklin' Oat Bran in the cereal aisle.
10. Wearing all black and 3 inch heels doesn't really fool anyone.

Truly Presidential

Until yesterday, the Mormon getting the most press coverage was this guy...

and, although there is debate among my family and friends about Mitt's chances for the presidency,

there is NO debate about this man...

President Gordon B. Hinckley

1910-2008

He led with dignity, humor and love.

Seven Questions...On Being Smart

Annie was my first official blog friend. I met her through the generous Stie, who has been very gracious about letting me become part of her social circle...in blogland and real life. I love reading Annie's thoughtful posts and catching little glimpses of her charming home and family life.

I feel that we are kindred spirits...probably because we are the same age and both enjoy books and blogs. Annie is also fulfilling one of my secret dreams, returning to grad school and getting her PhD! She is funny and friendly and smart and wise. The perfect choice for my next interview.

Here are Annie's thoughts about life and learning:

1. What are your favorite ways to stay intellectually active and aware?



-Reading, reading, reading! Newspapers, novels, magazine articles, cereal boxes, blogs. I think if you are a curious person, you stay intellectually active and aware; reading is one of the best ways to satisfy that curiosity. Also writing.
-Learning something new. I think our brains love breaking new ground for new learnin'. If you're intrigued by something--a language, photography, upholstery, astronomy, film making--there are classes for that. I went the structured route and signed up for a whole grad program (once my kids were a little older and I had more time) but that's not necessary to keep your brain excited and engaged. Follow what you love.
-Good old fashioned discussions. There's nothing like a long deep conversation about everything and nothing to spark my brain cells. I come from an extended family of great talkers and have sweet memories of listening to rich debates and witty banter around the big oval dining table at my grandparents' house (and also at my own house growing up). I love hearing fresh perspectives and a new set of stories, don't you?

2. What are your top three suggestions for balancing family needs with personal goals?

- Know your priorities and let your standards on other things slip sometimes. At least that's what I do. Sometimes the laundry fairy may not make her rounds as frequently as she used to. The car might be dirty longer. But I decided that I'd take the trade off on some things so I can focus on my family and do some things that keep me excited and engaged and passionate.


- Be optimistic. I decided at one point that I could be a "this will never work" person or a "there are ways to do this" person. The second way is infinitely more empowering. You can find ways to do what's important to you personally and to be there for your family and their needs. Luckily, I have a really supportive husband who is the first person to pick me up and dust me off when I've stumbled or to give me a pep talk. So, I guess I would also suggest surrounding yourself with other optimistic people for when your own optimism lags.


- Check in with yourself and your family and be flexible & adjust when needed. For instance, I really felt that my family needed more of my time right now (& I felt too spread thin) so this semester I'm taking a break and not doing classes. There's a time for everything, right?

3. Do you have a personal workspace? How do you keep it organized?

I love personal workspaces! Up until about 6 months ago, I had to carve out a place on the dining room table or in a corner of the kitchen (and at one place we put up an old door between two filing cabinets at the end of a hallway). I'm a big believer in women having spaces of their own. Now I have a real desk where I can actually leave my things out and they'll still be there. Joy! I am addicted to puttering and pens and paper and funky containers so I'm always rearranging and pruning my desktop. It definitely reflects my mood and mindset at any given time.

4. Who was your favorite teacher of all time? What did you learn from him/her?

Kathy Johnson, absolutely. I've had some pretty amazing teachers all the way along, from kindergarten to grad school, but I would go with Kathy every time you asked. She was my AP European History teacher my senior year in high school. She was absolutely charming and engaging, told great stories (sometimes inspiring, sometimes colorful--about her own life or about history), and was completely passionate about history. I can picture her standing in front of the class, hands clasped in front of her, telling us the story of Joan of Arc with tears streaming down her face. I learned critical thinking and writing, absorbed her enthusiasm, & soaked up history's lessons. She was also one of the first people to tell me I could write (or at least the first person I believed). I took that little gem of a compliment, tucked it inside and polished it for years.

5. How do you teach your children (especially your daughters) that being smart is cool?

I'm not really sure! Each child is so different but I've always tried to meet their interests and give them what they needed to follow their own curiosity. We all love reading & I'm not sure we even gave any of them a choice about that :). We try to send the message that learning--in and out of school--is important and exciting. We ask lots of questions (and encourage theirs) and try to really listen and appreciate their thinking. More than anything, I want them to think of themselves as explorers and questioners.

6. What have you learned from traveling? What is your favorite destination?

My favorite places away from home are London, Copenhagen, and Greece. I had done a little traveling before college but my world opened up when I did Study Abroad in London for six months. I think I discovered who I was (or wanted to be) there. I love traveling for the perspective it gives me on my own life and the window it gives me to others' lives. And it's just fun!

7. What inspires you?

Engaging people who are passionate about what they do--mothers, writers, philosophers, entrepreneurs, teachers. New, unconsidered ideas. The persistence of babies in trying to master something inspires me and makes me want to rediscover that tenacity and curiosity. Music. Mountains. Sometimes procrastination or necessity inspires me to get things finally done!

Thanks Annie!

To read Annie's blog, BASIC JOY, click here.

Also, check out her new project...Letters to a Parent...write in with a letter of your own!

Heartbreaker

The Heartbreak Kid and Me...this morning

Does every mom have a Heartbreak Kid? Mine is 4'3" and about 65 lbs. He is barely nine and still has more baby teeth than permanent.

The first time his cries broke my heart happened the night we brought him home. His two-day-old fingernails looked a little long and scratchy, so I got out my gleaming new pair of baby clippers and, feeling very motherly, started to snip. Of course, I got a little overconfident by the third finger, trimmed a little too close and drew blood. I had been his mom for less than 12 hours and already I'd made him cry. Heartbreaking.

Having a kid with special needs means letting your heart get broken over and over again. The first time you notice a difference. The first time the school calls home. The first and second and third time someone points a finger on the playground.

Today my heart broke a little at a meeting with the school. I'd had high hopes for placement in a "typical" classroom next year. And, while nothing has officially been decided, the staff gently, kindly let me know this might not be the best option. Maybe I had been overly optimistic. And, even though I'm a big believer in the power of positive thinking, there are times when looking on the bright side doesn't solve the problem at hand.

All I know is that when the Lord sent me my H.B. Kid, He also poured an extra portion of motherlove into my heart. The problem is that sometimes there are troubles even a double-dose of motherlove can't fix.

And now there is a permanent hole in my heart.