Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Being Short Could Be Considered a Disability


  1. You don't glide or float. You waddle. (See photo)
  2. One-third of your kitchen cabinet space is completely useless.
  3. Your choices: shop in the petite section, pay big $$$ for alterations, or learn to sew.
  4. No one ever takes you seriously.
  5. Your "ideal" weight = anorexic 8th grader.
  6. Your neck gets very sore kissing tall boys.
  7. Your younger siblings look down on you.
  8. It's hard to sit like a lady when your feet don't touch the floor.
  9. You have to rely on strangers to reach the Cracklin' Oat Bran in the cereal aisle.
  10. Wearing all black and 3 inch heels doesn't really fool anyone.

23 comments:

katie said...

...you get to kiss tall boys!

lucky you

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

Ah, but let me tell you why the grass isn't greener over here. When you're tall (and have gorilla arms like me) NOTHING fits you in the sleeve. All your long-sleeve shirts will fall short. Plus, the boys don't really catch up to you until college, so all your dance pictures will have you towering over your date. And just TRY, I dare you, to stand next to a darling little petite mama and not feel like the jolly green giant. I'd trade places with you in a second.

Jill said...

That was hilarious! Sorry for your disability. I'm right in the middle (5'5). Good luck facing your giants (that was punny huh).

The MomBabe said...

Now I need to know how tall (or not) you are!

Lauren said...

I hear ya, sister! Luckily, my husband is short, too...our children do not thank us, however.

Rochelleht said...

Ah, see! The things you learn. Never would have known you were short. You can't see everything on a blog. I have Stie's arms.

What I want to know is: Where were you guys walking!? GORGEOUS! I just love the East coast. At least between April and Oct. anyway.

gab said...

Rochelle...we were walking in our own hometown last spring. It is very charming...come visit sometime!

Mombabe...some people say I am 5'2, but I always add an inch when asked.

Stie...yes, please. Let's trade.

Rochelleht said...

Maybe I will visit.

Between April and Oct...

Nimmy said...

You're the cutest gravitationally challenged momma I know!

Holly said...

I'm sorry, but all of a sudden I am humming "Short people...".

Denae said...

This is SO funny! My husband and I know exactly what you're saying. Short people are discriminated against too!!!

Bridget said...

That was so funny. I do remember meeting you in nursery that day and I honestly don't remember you being short. So there.

i'm kelly said...

loved this! it's a crack up, but seriously gab, i never think of you as short as all. and i'm with stie... being tall isn't all that wonderful, and i'm not even "tall". but you can't really wear heels, unless you want to be taller. pants are always too big & when i was in HS i had to bend down to kiss the boys.

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

Reason number 8 had me laughing out loud.

You're gorgeous and that makes up for any vertical limitations you feel. Plus, you're that much closer to your kids. Think of it that way!

Marty said...

I feel your pain. My legs ache everywhere because I can't touch to floor or I have to wear really high shoes. I can't reach the eye level cabinets. And I agree, you appear a little less grown up...you have to yell up to get anyone to hear your opinion. It's a sad state of affairs.

mama jo said...

as the taller sister of two shorter ones..one being your mom...i always felt like a giant...very ungainly giant....i guess everyone has there problems...unless your'e taller and stick thin...like aunt julie...and to kelly....who were you kissing in high school?

Polly said...

I used to just climb on the counters to get stuff in the kitchen, now I have to make a running leap to the step ladder and climb.

martha corinna said...

I'm only 2 inches taller than you, and for the most part I like it, except when I am standing next to my 5'10" sister. Then I feel a little disabled. But she has some serious discrimination stories. Being tall ruled out half of the dating pool for her.

Jessica said...

I'm with Martha on the dating pool thing. Not that it matters now.

And regarding the weight thing (it's ALWAYS regarding the weight thing with me)...I have a 6' friend who ran a marathon and the pounds just melted off of her. She asked me one time, "Don't you notice that when you work out harder, you just lose weight without watching your calories?"

Um. No. I don't.

And then I realized that that girl could possibly weigh more (and still look GREAT) than my husband (5'10") and that of course 175lbs was much easier to maintain and get to, than 130 lbs.

Not fair.

FUN-ky Mama said...

I feel ya! I am 5'2" also. I finally stopped adding the extra inch.
Wait till your kids get taller than you! My 15 year old son is now my height. Scarey stuff.

lainakay said...

Hey, I'm 5'2" and I thought I was fooling everyone with the 3" heels... which I ALWAYS wear! Partly so that I can see what everyone else sees up there (kinda) and partly so that I don't have to get my jeans hemmed!

Laura said...

I'm not sure how I stumbled onto your blog, but I really had to laugh at #s 5 and 6. At 5'2" I know how true it is.

P.S. I'm enjoying your blog!

Celia Fae said...

Laura was lucky to find your blog.

This post is hilarious. As a medium person, I never really thought about a short person having issues. I do have some tall friends, though, and I think they like to lord it over me.

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