Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Is There Some Secret Mothering Manual I Forgot to Pick Up at Target?

I don't know why I thought this whole motherhood thing was going to get easier over time. Those of you ahead of me in the learning curve are probably shaking your head and chuckling, but I really did think that once they were all potty trained and on the school bus, life would be just one big yoga class. Followed by spa pedicures and an Asian salad at Panerra.

But somehow it just gets trickier by the day. I mean, I used to worry about people drinking Clorox or falling out of second story windows. These days I worry more about online images and fighting on the bus. Not to mention how to get Little Sister's pink glittery jewelry kit bead out of Big Brother's brand new Airsoft. (Note to self: Hot glue on a toothpick is not the way to go.)

Just today I noticed Jake subtly put his carefully-selected, brand-new birthday shirt at the bottom of the laundry pile. Isn't it cool enough? Did someone make fun of it? Why would they? What exactly makes one shirt acceptable and another nearly identical shirt destined for the back of the drawer? And, most of all, if someone really cares so much about his personal appearance then just why IS my frequent suggestion to become one with the toothbrush always so offensive?!

Em has been complaining of headaches for a while now. She rubs her eyes and whines sometimes. In my expert opinion, of course, she is just looking for attention. This is a girl who loves vitamins and medicine and Band-aids, after all. She visits the school nurse for cough drops almost daily. So, I chalk it up to middle-child-syndrome and tell her to rest on the couch.

Well, yesterday I finally took her to the eye doctor. (After much begging on her part and me saying, "Why? You just aced the school vision screening.") It turns out she is practically blind in her left eye and has astigmatism in her right. We pick up her purple sparkle specs on Wednesday.

What kind of mother lets her beautiful daughter wander through life under a veil of blurry darkness?! Me, that's who. (I confess to shedding a few tears over the whole thing until I remembered the time I broke my arm in fifth grade and NOBODY believed me for days. Thanks, Mom. I feel better now.)

When does it get easier, people? Exactly when will I go from novice-mom to expert status? And don't tell me to hang on and wait for grandkids. I don't know if I can last that long...


21 comments:

Robin said...

You are doing just fine. One time the boys came in and told me that Hannah was laying in the street. I ignored them until a complete stranger walked into my house and said, "Mam, your daughter is passed out in the middle of the street and there is blood everywhere." That got my attention.

She was fine, just needed stitches in her chin. So, I say, You are doing just fine!

Annemarie said...

Don't beat yourself up. I did the same thing with glasses...it took until my day to help in the 5th grade & saw my child sitting on the floor in front of the board so he could see the test while everyone else sat in their desks. It wasn't the first time, either. I felt so bad. And negligent.

Did the same thing with a broken arm.

Cynthia said...

I spent 7 days wondering why the new shampoo/conditioner brand I just switched to was making my daughter's head itch so badly. SEVEN DAYS of ignoring the problem . . . until I realized she had lice and by then everyone was dealing with it. YUCK. (I always thought it would get easier too -- it doesn't.)

Sherry said...

I also broke my arm in fifth grade and went a number of days before my mom finally agreed that I did, in fact, need to visit a doctor.

And how on earth did Em pass an eye test? Didn't they have her cover each eye in turn?

Lindsey said...

Dang it. That is NOT the reality I wanted to hear today! :) I was totally looking forward to one long yoga class. :)

Ilene said...

My mom didn't believe me when I said I needed glasses either.

I still love her anyway.

I don't know if I believe you, though. Thomas still refuses to poop on the potty. I feel like it is the end of the world.

kara jayne said...

once again gab you say it all perfectly. i've been thinking the same thing lately and come to one conclusion...it never gets easier.

unfortunately the potty training and mess making of todlers just fortifies us for what's to come with school age kids. and so it goes...

it makes me think of the quote that says, 'becoming a mother means you agree to let part of you heart walk around outside of your body'...or something like that.

you are amazing and i wish you were my next door neighbor. (the house is still in short sale...hey...i can try right?!)

i was only a preschooler when i broke my arm and nobody believed me. i was kid #6. i totally get it now. i still remember walking back in the door days later when i finally got a cast...walking up to my 1st grade brother...holding up my white plaster trophy...and saying, "i told you!!!"

Lauren in GA said...

I hear you loud and clear. When the eye doctor told Adam that he did, indeed need glasses (like Adam had been telling me for months) I started to tear up right then and there and I said, "I am so sorry, Adam". The doctor said, "Hey, there are worse things then having to wear glasses..." and then I really started to cry steadily as I muttered, "No...not that he has to wear glasses...that he has been telling me for MONTHS." The eye doctor must have sensed how badly I felt because he tried to calm me and said, "It's okay...my daughter walked around with an abcessed tooth for 3 days before my wife and I believed her."

You write things so perfectly. Today when I read your comment on another blog I chuckled happily and made a mental note to tell you that I quote you all of the time. And thanks for your sweet comment on my blog.

Tristan said...

I agree, don't beat yourself up. You are an amazing mother. We all make mistakes and for sure don't know everything we are supposed to do.

My oldest complains that she can't always see. I don't know if that is an excuse so she gets attention, or so she doesn't have to do her homework? Or is she really not able to see and needs glasses? Still haven't taken her in to the doc. So I'm a bad Mom too :)

Christie said...

Yeah, my dad HUNG UP THE PHONE on the people at the Cottonwood skating rink that were calling to tell him I'd broken my arm. He thought they were trying to sell him a membership.

We all do it. Get some chocolate and a diet coke and pat yourself on the back for all that you do. Hang in there, chica.

polly said...

did we all have broken arms and get ignored? I have to say as an old mom and grandmother that I used to sit on the front row of Relief Society and had my hand up all the time with lots of answers. I always wondered why the older women sat on the back row. I know now why. They knew you never find out any of the answers, you just keep on learning. (I now sit on the back row and just keep my mouth shut) I am still learning how to be a mother.

Marci said...

What? Don't tell me this. I have always put you in the perfect mom category. You are one of those moms I aspire to be! You transform your kitchen into Santa's Crafty Workshop, for heck's sake! And I, myself, just finished blogging about my mothering woes and noticed your post. Maybe it is all part of the January Blues. BUT I really do think you are doing a fine job at this mothering thing. It just isn't as easy as we thought it was going to be! My mom made it look much easier, and it sounds like your mom is one of those too. I am just hoping our kids will remember all the good stuff!

P.S. If you find that book at Target, or otherwise, please let me know. I want a copy.

Jessica said...

I TOTALLY did that to Emma, too. She was complaining and I thought she wanted attention and she ended up being completely blind and the way she exclaimed at everything she could see as we drove away from the doctor with her glasses made my heart break. I think you are a fabulous mom, so I'm happy to hear you did it to.

Travelin'Oma said...

Right after Heidi got her glasses (in 4th grade) we went to McDonald's. She was all excited about the menu up on the wall. We realized she'd never been able to see it before. Motherhood is a guilt ridden profession.

Cathy said...

I have always made these wonderful schedules & plans for when "it gets easier", at 53 I am still waiting!

diane said...

Oh the middle years. I liked parenting when I could pick their clothes and their friends. The social emotional stuff is so difficult because you can't just kiss them and make it all better.

♥Shally said...

One morning, Jax was complaining that his stomach hurt and he didn't want to go to school.

Being the great mom that I am, I hushed him up and sent him anyway.

He puked on the bus.

I felt HORRIBLE!!!

Melissa said...

Henry went 3 days with a broken arm-- at a tender 14 months old! Michael needed glasses for months, finally got them, and somehow they got severly scratched (who knew a run through the laundry would do that?) that was in November and I keep forgetting to replace them. TOMORROW! :)

You are not alone.

calibosmom said...

Gabi, if we did notice every single thing right away, we would all be in straight jackets. Here's to being imperfect yet loving mothers!Please post a pic of the purple sparkily specks.

mama jo said...

well, to start..it doesn't get easier...there are always new and better problems...my last one...not naming names...was like em...she called me from school at least twice a week...so, i learned to ignore it...then she hurt her arm...it's ok, i said...a week later..she sported her new cast! and another one that complained of a bad back...finally took him to the doc after months...of course he had a fracture...it's the greatest...so hang in there...it's going to be ok!

Jenibelle said...

This was therapeutic for me...4 of 5 children at my house have had an ignored, suck it up will you, broken bone at my house. I feel better knowing I am in great company!

As for the glasses, sorry friend, warning you NOW...the "this is so cool that I get to wear purple sparkly glasses" will pass...Jeff is BEGGING for contacts. I told him that when he is mature enough to brush his teeth and use deodorant every day (without being told....) we'll talk. It seems like I have been battling these children for centuries.

And just HOW are you going to handle the twins birthdays?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...