Monday, October 27, 2008

Mummy's Tour of Terror

Who needs to pay big bucks to visit a haunted house? I've got plenty of nightmares right here at home...


Wanna see somethin' slimy? Smell somethin' foul?

Just open the crisper...you'll scream and you'll howl.


Notice the details? Like the gum on the floor

Our li'l monsters left it there for your enjoyment and horror!

(Dumb Mummy gives her kids gum to be oh-so-cool...

She thinks she's a phan, but she's really a phool!)



Next, come into the bathroom and see the trick mirrors...


they add wrinkles and pimples and reduce you to tears!

Still feeling brave? Well, isn't that great?!

Step on this torture device...it adds 10 pounds extra weight!



Now, whatever in THIS room could give you the chills?

Look close on that desk...some spine-tingling bills!
(And when the man of the house sits down to write checks, he'll
Turn from nice Mr. Hyde to a crazed Dr. Jekyll...)

This door looks quite tame, right? Well, the worst ones all do...
What's hiding behind it?
Watch out! The kid's loo...


The floor is so scuzzy--slicked up for the kill.
And if the smell doesn't getcha, the big laundry piles will!


And last stop's the calendar, just so you'll remember...
only 49 shopping days left until the BIG DAY this December.

Got Goosebumps?

33 comments:

Jeanelle said...

Huh-LARIOUS!

Annemarie said...

Gab...you are brilliant. Somehow I feel right at home in your haunted house.

Jessica said...

Completely. Outdone. Yourself.

Robin said...

Excellent! Bravo! Outstanding!

HILLARY said...

I think I'll go crawl into my clean sheets on my bed and hide!

diane said...

I'm shivering with fright. You forgot the scariest thing of all. Your alarm clock and seminary class. Maybe you are saving that for Halloween.

Celia Fae said...

Oh Gab. You're an inspiration to us all. Truth, poetry, photos, you are the complete package.

♥Shally said...

You are good.

Mique (as in Mickey) said...

Gab- you kill me. Between last post and this post- where do you come up with this stuff???

Bridget said...

I am so glad I am not the only one with rotting veggies and gum in the carpet! This was truly entertaining.

Paige said...

Who knew the life of a regular housewife could be so poetic. You're a poet and I didn't know it, but your feet show it, they're Longfellows.

Meg said...

{shudder}

And SO VERY FUNNY at the same time! How do you do it?

TravelinOma said...

You are one phunny ghoul!

TravelinOma said...

You are one phunny ghoul!

Christie said...

Wait, how did you get all the pictures of my house? We live frighteningly similar lives, my friend. Scary!

the MomBabe said...

I'm so glad I was reading this in the broad daylight. The horror!

Emy5 said...

How phrightful phor you to live in that haunted house. I share your phear.

Lauren in GA said...

You. are. so. brilliant! I loved it...and I got goosebumps and chills at how clever you are!

My scale does that, too! What's with it?

andrea said...

do you feel some secret pride when you write stuff like this? like "man, this is GOOD!"
because it is.

i loved it.

Shauna said...

I LOVE IT :)

Cathy said...

How perfect! You are so brillantly clever, I love, love , love this! One of the best Halloween Haunts Ever!

cami said...

This is one of my favorite posts. You're too much! It would take me weeks to come up with something that cute. Do you stay awake all night thinking these things up?!?!

Jill said...

That was great...you are too funny and creative!!

calibosmom said...

AHHHHHH! Oh the horror!

Lindsey said...

SPOOKY! You just inspired my next post!

Kenny and Linsey said...

so clever

by the way, your nails look fab!

wenderful said...

Love it!

Amanda D said...

So great! You are so stinkin' clever. So envious over here.

Rochelleht said...

Yes, the wrinkles AND pimples. WHAT'S UP!?

Lauren in GA said...

I forgot to say how much I love the clever title, too.

Melissa-Mc said...

Spooooooky!

Hazen5 said...

Genius!!! This was the best Scary-Post ever. You are too creative!

Ilene said...

Ah, I think I can one up you, my house has a lovely dirty diaper bin giving my garage that nice scent of doo-doo.

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