Today at the gym snack bar, a woman noticed the twins. The older two weren't with us and S. & L. were being very adorable--so it was a good kind of noticing.
We started to chitchat and she told me that this morning--at 10 am-- in a far-off city her daughter-in-law was trying in vitro.
"Oh, wow!" I said, "these are my IVF babies!"
I could tell the woman was ready to cry and I felt a lump in my throat, too. I just said, "It really does work, sometimes!"
At this point, the two of us had bonded and she sat down and we talked about Clomid and dye-tests and laparoscopies.
Then, I told her, "I tried IVF ten years ago and it didn't work."
"Oh, no!" she said, "don't tell me that."
"But, you see, " I explained, "it was the best thing that ever happened to me because now I have the most beautiful eight-year-old boy and the sweetest six-year-old girl alive and adoption is a wonderful thing."
"Wow," this new friend said, "we've never even talked about adoption."
"I know," I replied, "I didn't want to talk about it for a long time either."
"She's so nervous," the woman explained, "I think if it doesn't work, it will be the end of her world."
"I know."
After she left, I thought of times when my world ended... You'll never be able to bear children. The procedure didn't work. We're moving across the country. They have to stay in the N.I.C.U. Your son might be autistic...
And then I thought of times when new worlds opened up...You've been chosen! It's a boy! It's a girl! It's twins! Mama! I love you!
I'd love to explain all this to the girl in the far-off city, waiting anxiously in her hospital gown...but there are some things you just have to learn on your own.
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8 comments:
As always, you leave my heart warmed by your goodness and your strength. What an amazing story - makes you think that it's not just a coincidence to meet up with people like that, at moments in time where they need you the most. Love ya!
Your kids are sliding down the bannister, jumping on the couch, bringing snow in the house, acting just like normal kids, and yet all 4 of them are miracles. How lucky they are to have come to you guys. And how lucky for us, too.
That was so beautiful. I have always admired how you handle things and stay positive. I would love to send this blog to a friend that is having some of your same issues but I don't know her email. Anyway, thank you for writing..it makes me thankful for my children. It doesn't matter how we get them or what they do. They make your life wonderful and teach you more about love and patience than studying the scripture forever.
that is beautiful...made me cry...but, that is exactly why it didn't work at first..your kids just had to come another way. life always seems to have it's problems and we always have to deal with them and after we have, then the next problem doesn't seem so hard...so stay happy and thankful for the problems you don't have...
I love the end of the world and the new world analogy. I can totally relate. It's such a good reminder to stay positive through the storms because a sunny day will follow. Love your blog! Please keep writing.
Ah, I just loved this. Thank you.
I love this post. I am not yet on the mommy track, but I am preparing. I already have fears. It is such a blessing to know that we women are not alone in this. The worries about becoming a mom are real. Thank you for this post.
I'm here because Travelin' Oma linked on her blog. What a wonderful story about becoming a mother.
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