Thursday, September 3, 2009

Unpalatable

Parenting is full of unpalatable experiences--stomach flu, toilet training, SpongeBob.

And just when you recover from one adventure, the next one looms large.

For instance, this year I was thrilled to close the Preschool Door behind me. No more expensive (double!) tuition payments, no more co-op duties, no more driving. More time and money for me! Right?

Then we went to the orthodontist. And, apparently, this...
Jake in Phase One: The Palatal Expander
is going to be the way I will be spending all my free time and extra money!
Jake has been a trooper throughout the whole process. However, my biggest fear is that he will starve to death since he is just skin and bones already. Add a sore mouth to the mix and he might just blow away.
Help! Internet Mom Society...what do you feed your Orthochallenged Offspring?!
And, for those distracted gals who, like me, may have been a little grossed out and unable to focus when the hygienist at the office explained the mother's twice-daily turn-key operation responsibility...have no fear!
YouTube to the rescue, once again.
Seriously. How did people parent before the worldwideweb?
(P.S. Most ironic statement from the orthodontist...
"Yep. Your daughter will need the same protocol. Their mouths are nearly identical. This stuff really runs in your family!" )

17 comments:

Annemarie said...

We're starting that process with my twins. Double the fun...

The comment from the orthodontist is classic.

Lindsey said...

Sounds suspicious... Second opinion???

Claire Wessel said...

My daughter had the expander in this summer. I have to admit, I wasn't prepared for ortho bills at age 9, but her speech therapist said "fix it or forget it, her speech is as good as it will get without orthodontia" If you flip back a few entries in my blog, you will discover my "hamburger in spaghetti sauce vs. expander" adventure, wherein I was hit in the face with hour-old meat that got caught in what we affectionately called "the spider". I too had to learn the key thing from the internet. I don't really know what you can easily eat, but we did have a list of things to not eat! No ground beef, first and foremost, no kiwi since the little black seed things will get caught up there. No pizza, no soda, nothing chewy, gooey or hard. She also was continuously making this funky noise to clear stuff out of it while eating. It sounded a bit like a lusty Darth Vader. I got so used to hearing that noise that I forgot to warn the missionaries when they came over for dinner. The first time she did it, both of them jumped a little. Pretty darn funny if you ask me :)

She did fine with PB&J, spaghetti with smooth sauce (nothing fancy or meaty), all the rice dishes were fine. It wasn't too bad.

Oh! Turn that bad boy at night!! We did the key before bed and by morning, she always felt fine. The turning would give her a headache and a bit of a sore mouth. I was kinda either listen to her whine about it all day, or do it at night so she had forgotten about it by morning.

Her step-mom had taken her to the ortho and when the ortho saw her daughter (half sis of my daughter) he said "you should start saving now for the little one" because her baby teeth are crooked, which is apparently a sure sign that you will be buying the ortho a very nice vacation in the Bahamas.

Christie said...

NOT looking forward to that phase of life. Putting it off as long as humanly possible.

And how funny - those do really DO look alike. Interesting that their mouths are the same, too.

Robin said...

I am so sorry you need to do this. WE did the expander on 2 of our kids and so far we have spent about $20,000 on orthodontia for 4 kids. Such a drag.

Travelin'Oma said...

Oh, poor Jake and poorer you. Can he eat lots of smoothies and ice cream?

diane said...

Oh yes, my 3 kids all had phase one orthodontia with appliances. Mashed potatoes, smoothies, yogurt, soup and of course Ice cream. You can make shakes and add protein powder and they don't even notice.

Turning the key is gross.

hannah said...

oh my. i never had to go through that growing up, but my husband will be getting braces soon. poor guy...

kara jayne said...

i got braces yesterday and i am in major pain. my mouth is torn up and in hurts to even talk much less chew. Today I have had a protein shake and soup. The pizza my kids are eating right now is calling to me, but it's not worth it. I'll be eating lots of soft foods right along with him.

cami said...

Bryce got braces (just on top so far) a few weeks ago and it took about a week before he could chew real food. He was enjoying lots of applesauce, pudding, yogurt, ice cream, soup, etc.

Luckily, we didn't have to do the expander, that doesn't look too fun!

Lauren in GA said...

You once said to Christie in a comment on her blog, "Life is rich with irony" (I think it was a post about an ugly dog or something)...

Anyway, I would like to echo your words about what the orthodontist said..."Life is [indeed] rich with irony."

And I agree...how did we parent before the Internet.

Ilene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ilene said...

I'm sorry that has got to be absolutely no fun.

Your children's future spouse will thank you. Dan's parents didn't do anything to take care of his mouth problems. If we take care of them now, he will have to have jaw surgery and orthodontia.

queenieweenie said...

I've got three in braces...instead of a new car. I hear you sister!

Marci said...

Yikes! I keep putting it off, but paying for braces (times three) is definitely in my future. Amazing that Jake and Emily have the same mouths. Simply incredible.

Leslie said...

Hi since I only have a 1 year old I will tell you what my mom fed me.
lots and lots of jello (i love jello)
Mashed Potatoes
toast (butter and jam always makes it softer) or rolls
Yogurt
Jamba Juices =)
a lot of drinks
Good luck

Jenibelle said...

It sucks I know...but doing the ortho thing is the best thing for Jake. You want him to feel good about himself and let's be honest...some of our self esteem comes from how we look. It's the right thing to do, no matter how hard it's going to be for both of you. Let HIM pick what to eat, give him soft, healthy options and let him pick, give him buy-in.

I have a friend of a special needs child who took pictures every week at the same time and pasted them on poster board. That way her daughter could see the changes as they happened. When she could SEE the changes, she started to LOVE wearing her gear and elastics. Just a thought.

(Jeff gets his off in two weeks!! Three years, ugh. Now on to Scotty.)

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