- I would not be surprised that the newly-installed automatic door-opening buttons attract the attention of noisy four-year-olds. I would not say "That's enough, boys!" and give the stinkeye to helpless mothers who find themselves powerless in the wake of such tempting and addictive new technology.
- I would keep a freshly-stocked basket of the newest Chick-Lit books, as well as some non-parenting magazines, on a shelf near a cozy armchair in the kids' computer zone. Also, I would install a Glade Plug-In.
- I would recognize the importance of oiling the wheels on all those squeaky rolling-step-stool-library-thingies.
- I would lobby for a Children's Wing bathroom.
- I would not stare blankly when asked for read-aloud suggestions. Instead, I would smile kindly, ask a few thoughtful questions and lead enquiring readers to some of my favorite recommendations:
For your high-and-hyper-on-life almost five boys:
All Jamie Lee Curtis books are sheer delight. But this one is my absolute favorite! Even if all the pages were ripped out, just looking at the illustrations in the front and back endpapers could provide a worthwhile 20-minute bedtime discussion. So good! So good!
For your first or second grader:
A classic. Girls love it. Boys love it. They can read it themselves--the chapters are short, interesting and well-illustrated. But it's also fun to read together. Best of all, once you get 'em hooked, there are a couple more books in the series. Enjoy!
For your nature-lovin', animal-crazy ten year old:
If you don't wanna buy a pet, the Dimwood Forest series is the next best thing. Charming, but realistic animal characters. Funny, with just the right amount of kid-friendly earthiness. Lyrical. A pleasure to read-aloud. Still, don't be surprised if your li'l bookworm finishes the whole thing under the covers after you've tucked him in!
And, if I ran the library, there would be no late fees. But I would give you a fresh-baked cookie if you returned my favorites and brought along a few of your own.