Yesterday was Jake's IEP meeting at school.
IEP's always take me back mentally to my years of infertility appointments. Dreading the date on the calendar. Hoping for good news, but also preparing for the worst. Being brave during the pain. Crying all the way home.
Invasive. Uncomfortable. Making me feel completely helpless and totally guilty all at once. (So, my tubes are completely scarred, damaged and useless? So, he's still struggling with social clues? Ahhh, where did I go wrong!!?)
Yesterday I psyched myself up Big Time to meet with the 4th grade/special ed team. I put on a power jacket and heels. I had my manilla folder (and pen!) at the ready. I arrived early and fragrant with Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker. And, you know what?
It didn't hurt a bit!
The teachers were delightful. We laughed. We assessed. We discussed. We solved. At one point, the mainstreaming teacher said, "You know, I'm seeing a little bit of silliness..." And, I did not get defensive or feel guilty. I simply smiled and said, "Welcome to Jake! He must finally feel comfortable in your classroom."
I left with a spring in my step and I didn't cry a bit.
It could be that I'm learning from past experience. (I am.) It could be that Jake really HAS come a long way. (He has.) It could be that we are blessed with a fantastic school district and exceptional teachers. (We are.) Probably a little of all three.
I have always believed that things happen to us for a reason. So, my only question is this: If all those doctor's appointments were preparing me for all these IEP's, then what are all these IEP's preparing me for?
Don't answer that.