- I wouldn't be caught dead wearing spandex in a spin class.
- Listening to NPR every morning would not make me depressed.
- My cubs would not break into a mid-ride elevator fistfight because "It was my turn to push the button."
- I wouldn't know that the Chipmunk Song is CD 1/Track 3 in my car stereo. (And I wouldn't know all the words either.)
- There would be no OCD issues involving Christmas ribbon or gift tags.
- Two words: NO LAUNDRY
I would lumber around in my shiny fur coat, eating everything in sight to get nice and fat for winter. Then I would snuggle down with Papa and the cubs, ignore the dirt on the floor and sleep until April. Upon waking, I would be pleasantly surprised to find Christmas over and all put away, daffodils blooming and my body weight down thirty percent.
Who says these girls are brutal? Sounds highly civilized to me!