Friday, February 8, 2008

Where Maple Syrup is a Controlled Substance

7:00 a.m. at the asylum. The patients are awake. Some are in need of medication. Some have soaked their sheets during the night. There is some screaming, some crying and a whole lot of nudity. Caretakers rush from room to room--finding, fixing, wiping, and prodding--then hurry to the kitchen to start breakfast before patients with low-blood sugar become unruly...

Welcome to my life.

Morning smells like oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs and maple syrup. ("Mom, he's dumping the whole bottle on his waffle!" " But I need to fill every square!")

Morning feels like cold tile, sticky kisses and sore muscles.

Morning looks like uncombed hair, sleepy eyes, and spilled milk. (Every single morning.)

Morning tastes like Kashi Go-Lean, maple syrup and Flintstones chewables.

Morning sounds like two toddler tantrums, the school bus honking and whining. (Mom, I don't feel very good....)

Morning seems like an endless marathon, a 50-yard dash and a blind-folded obstacle course all rolled into one.

Any advice?

14 comments:

Rochelleht said...

Send the first batch and then wait an hour to send the next. At least that's the way I do it. The boys are off to school an hour before Jane. The girls don't even wake up until they are gone. As annoying as it is to get up so early, it's nice to only have to wrestle half the kids at a time.

Rochelleht said...

Send the first batch and then wait an hour to send the next. At least that's the way I do it. The boys are off to school an hour before Jane. The girls don't even wake up until they are gone. As annoying as it is to get up so early, it's nice to only have to wrestle half the kids at a time.

Rochelleht said...

UGH! Sometimes I hate Blogger...

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

My advice is to teach them all to get their own breakfast and sleep in. Lock your bedroom door and do not come out, no matter what's happening. The house will probably look the same, they'll get off to school with messy, syrup-soaked spikes, and you will have had a good long rest.

I'm hoping one day to do this.

Bridget said...

Our mornings sound so similar! I eat Kashi Go Lean every morning and I'll admit it, I also use the Flinstones vitamins. I have no advice really. I try to at least have my gym bag mostly packed the night before so I am not scrambling so much to get myself ready too.

I enjoyed reading your post though. I can just imagine the scene. We had urine soaked sheets this morning too.(fortunately that wasn't me)

crystal said...

YES I have advice! Have Alice, from the Brady Bunch, come live with you!

And I'm with The Patient from the Asylum...every square DOES need to be filled!

Lisa-Marie said...

For some reason, a line from Nemo keeps running through my mind. Remember the cookoo fish? What was her name? Dori? She says, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." As mothers we don't have much other choice!

Oh, and stop eating Kashi. Maybe you need some of that syrup too! I know I would!

Marty said...

I feel your pain and I have no advice. Sorry.

i'm kelly said...

i know the feeling. if you figure out the secrets, send them my way!

Lauren said...

That was so fantastically written! The opening made me laugh so hard! I have no advice....but I truly, truly, loved reading this post!

katie said...

stay in bed!

FUN-ky Mama said...

Advice for what? It gave me the warm fuzzies. =)
You could do what I do....work nights and have the hubby do 4 of the 5 school-mornings. LOL
Seriously......get as much as possibile ready the night before.....ban syrup....enjoy it while it lasts......

mama jo said...

i'm with stie..just stay away from them...as far as waffles go, kerry has taught me the "right" way to make waffles...toast them, butter and put alot of syrup on them, then you have to microwave them for about 20 sec...they are delish
!

Jenibelle said...

Believe it or not, you will miss these mornings of chaos some day! I think you're doing great, if you can find the humor, you're ahead of the game!! This too shall pass.

PS. I too have a very disabled child so I know those special needs kids are exhausting. But those small steps, small victories are so worth it aren't they? Life is good, eternity will be even better!! Think eternally!

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