Monday, July 2, 2007

Pioneer Woman

So, this morning, the kids were "sleeping in" (i.e. staying in their beds until 7 am) and I was spending some quality time with the Turbo Jam workout DVD crew. The peace was over by 6:45...bleeeeep, bleeeep, bleeeep...all three smoke detectors were going crazy. I guess they could not control themselves watching my smokin' hot bod kick, squat and lunge all over the family room!

For the life of me, I could not get them to stop. The "hush" buttons weren't working and just when I'd silence the one upstairs, the one in the basement went off, then the one on the main level. (So...I did get a bit of a workout...)

Hubby was at the gym, doing his own modified-post-bike-accident-smokin'-bod routine. I tried calling him on his phone to get help, since now everyone was up and crying and I was getting a serious headache after 45 minutes of bleepity bleeps. But, even if he had taken his phone to the gym instead of leaving it on his desk, it would have done me no good...since my cordless phone was making strange clicking noises and giving me nothing but static. Plus, the toaster burned the Eggos.! I hate being its slave. There are way too many things in my life that need recharging, booting up, downloading, and programming...and those are just the five people I live with! Who has time for the DVD player which is making a strange humming sound, the dishwasher that beeps every five minutes to remind you to unload (DUH!), or the randomly sparking microwave?

I have decided that maybe the pioneer times weren't so bad after all. I'm sure Laura Ingalls never shouted obscenities at her computer screen. Willa Cather probably never tried burying her Razr V3 in a bag of rice for three days, hoping it would absorb the moisture and her husband would never discover that she had accidently dropped her new birthday cellphone into the Atlantic. (Sorry, hun!)

Yeah, quilting bees and sewing circles are much more my speed. (Except for the quilting and sewing part...) Butterchurning might be kinda fun. Maybe. I mean, I guess if you survived all the influenza and small pox outbreaks and the Indian attacks, chopping your own firewood and plucking your own chickens would be almost as good as a pedicure.

OK, OK...I would miss online shopping, my i-Pod shuffle and lycra spandex. Not to mention ATM machines and caller ID. Since there was no IVF in those days, I guess I wouldn't miss the Huggies...but I'd really miss the hugs. And, of course, without this bleepity-bleep technology, there would be no Gab Blog...'nuf said?

Time to go charge up the Razr!


lainakay said...

Hilarious! I, too, have a love-hate relationship with technology! Love my computer... hate the phone and really, why must the microwave know what date it is every time the power goes out?

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

I also feel the technology love/hate thing. I love my computer, but hate it when the dryer yells at me to come get the clothes out. Maybe I just need a maid.

Lisa said...

I found you through Laurie's blog and I love this post! The only reason I ever hate technology is when it doesn't work and I'm not smart enough to fix it. The internet goes down and I have to call India for them to tell me that my husband unplugged the ethernet cable. Gotta love it.

Marty: said...

Did your blog get a makeover? Now, how could that happen without technology?

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