Trendy? Who, Me?

Apparently, the latest trend is to have a kid with Aspergers Syndrome. It's hip. It's now. It's the millennial thing to do.

Is it just because I'm living in Aspergerland myself or is it really popping up everywhere as the disorder du jour?

Last night, I watched five minutes of Parenthood with Brad. The episode got our attention because it featured some parents with an Asperger child. Of course, they were stereotypically uptight and overeducated, with a card catalog of specialists and a whole bunch of psychoterms thrown into the conversation. Their kid was out of control and very very weird. It was funny and it wasn't.

Ninety-five percent of me was thinking, This is entertainment? Why should I watch this? I live this. But another little part of myself could not look away. It was like looking into a funhouse mirror. Wow. Is THAT what we look like? Is that what the rest of the world sees?

This is the book I'm into right now. The story of Jacob, a boy with Aspergers who is on trial for murder. I would've bought it even if I didn't have such a personal interest. I think Jodi Picoult is fun to read.

Although I'm not far into House Rules, I'm enjoying it. Picoult serves up her usual cast of characters--the overwhelmed and self-sacrificing mother, the resentful sibling and the big-hearted cop. I can identify with all the characters, which is the great thing about Picoult's writing. And maybe it's therapeutic to read something far-fetched with a heaping dose of my reality stirred in.

I've said it before. My feelings about media + autism are mixed. While I'm grateful for greater exposure and understanding, I'm also worried about stereotyping. And I don't want to look as if I'm just a trend-follower, grabbing at the latest excuse for poor parenting.

Anyway, I can't help it. Whether it's going through in vitro, having twins, or adopting, my millenial parenting experences aren't novel, they are the norm these days. And I guess I'm in good company.

But thinking about the whole thing makes me want to do something completely untrendy and nonmillennial.

You know, like blog...

Still Waiting For My Soundtrack

Saw the following preview at the movies the other night...

Have you heard about Adam? An Asperger love story.

It looks darling and I'm excited to see it. Partly because I like Hugh Dancy and I'm always up for a good chick flick and the soundtrack sounds appealing.

And partly, because (admittedly, this sounds silly) maybe seeing an actor pretending to have Aspergers will help me understand the boy I love who really does.

Still, I have mixed feelings. While I'm excited that the movie might bring understanding and attention to an issue that hits close to home, I also am afraid that it might diminish my family's reality. Like, people will see it and think "Oh, yeah, I saw Adam and now I know all about Asperger Syndrome." Kinda the way I think I know about life in a convent because I saw The Sound of Music. Or understand Yeshiva boys because I watched Yentl.

I mean, we live with Asperger Syndrome on a daily basis and there isn't always an upbeat soundtrack playing in the background, y'know? No cool New York loft apartment. No kooky-but-loveable sidekick cracking one liners. There are plenty of good times, true. But mostly just a lot of frazzled days filled with moments too discouraging and repetitive to make it on the big screen--prescription medications to be swallowed, visits with social workers, a little yellow school bus pulling into the driveway.

The reality is that my life is really really really good. But it's really hard too. And not the kind of hard that can be all wrapped neatly up in 96 minutes with popcorn and Milk Duds.

But, I guess, nobody's life is.

So that's why we go to the movies...